come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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