Pappa wants mamma naked
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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