Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
