So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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