remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
