sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
