Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
