At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize