No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
