If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
