Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize