butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
