I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
