His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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