Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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