You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize