Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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