there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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