he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize