And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
