I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
