I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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