there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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