shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
