At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize