I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want nice things and good sex
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
