I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
