Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
