Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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