weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
