she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
