Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize