what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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