areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
