You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
