I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
