i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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