it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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