member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
