Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
