those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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