I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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