if you like me you must not know who I am
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
