You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
