Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
