# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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