She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
