Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
