I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
