I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize