So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
