i permit you to call me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
