I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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