I heard we made out
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
