Need sex. Gaining weight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
