a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found your dick twin last night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize