im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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