I just pynch a tree in the face
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
