I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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