is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
