We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
