We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
