I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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