I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize